I obtained my letter of recommendation for FTM Top Surgery today from Dr. Preece, and had the opportunity to discuss it with her in person. The letter contains her assessment of the Personality Assessment Inventory (PAI) test and Gender Identity Interview for Adults that I completed back in December. While the test and interview represent just a snapshot of a day in a life, it’s a bit of an odd feeling seeing yourself reflected in such a deep way on paper. There were no real surprises, but I couldn’t help being somewhat awed at the words staring back at me. I read the four pages twice through before saying anything.

As I was leaving my appointment with her back in December, she remarked that the women’s washroom on the floor where her office is located is often locked, but that the men’s rarely is. I have used the men’s room on only a handful of occasions in my life, always stemming from huge line-ups for the women’s room at bars—never the result of any trans desire. Sure enough, when I left her office yesterday, the women’s washroom was locked, and I saw my opportunity to try the men’s room in a new light. The building was pretty much deserted by 7pm, so I felt no apprehension. It’s true what they say about men’s bathrooms: they are far more divey than women’s rooms! One of the stall walls was threatening imminent collapse and I couldn’t help but laugh at the predictability of the disarray. I suppose my bathroom achievement was rather minimal, but with that letter neatly tucked away in my bag, I burst onto the rainy streets of Vancouver with a satisfaction that I hadn’t felt before.